Finding balance seems elusive. But maybe we don’t understand what balance really is!
Finding Balance as a Busy Boy Mom
As moms of boys, finding balance in life often feels like chasing after the horizon, doesn’t it? You can see it in the distance, and you have a vague idea of what it looks like, but no matter how hard you try, you can never quite get there.
Is it even possible to find balance in life, and if so, how? How do we decide which things in life are priorities and which things do we need to take a break from? And how do we find joy in the midst of our busy schedules?
January is often the time of year that we re-evaluate our lives, our priorities, and our schedules. Is there anything new you need to add into your schedule, or is there something you maybe need to say “No” to?
We have a special guest on the show today who is an expert at helping moms find balance in their lives. She even has a podcast called, The Balanced Momcast!
Sandy Cooper is a Bible study teacher, a podcaster, an author, and a professionally certified home chef. She is passionate about helping frazzled moms find peace.
She is the author of three books, including her latest, Mom, You’re Amazing! And Other Things I Want to Tell You.
Below you’ll find a summary of my conversation with Sandy Cooper.
Balance is not…
Before we understand what balance is, we must first understand what balance is NOT. Below is Sandy’s list of what balance is not:
Balance is not doing everything.
Balance is not doing everything your friends are doing.
Balance is not doing everything that your friends think you should be doing.
Balance is not doing everything that you see other women doing on Instagram or Pinterest or TikTok or Facebook.
Balance is not doing everything well. You’re allowed to be bad at things and still be well-balanced.
Balance is not doing a little bit of everything every day.
And balance is not spreading yourself equally among every person, task, responsibility and expectation.
Balance is not the absence of stress because stress is just part of life.
What is Balance?
Sandy Cooper’s definition of balance:
“Balance is the peace that you have when you know your priorities and you’re living a life that reflects those priorities through freedom in Christ.”Sandy Cooper
How to Set Priorities
Understanding your priorities begins with understanding what Jesus said your priorities should be:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”” Luke 10:27
Sandy’s book, Finding Balance, is a great resource to help you set priorities in your life.
Having balance in life means operating with freedom in Christ and understanding what your gifts and strengths are and where your boundaries are.
Avoid comparison. Balance for you will not look the same as balance for other women.
Give yourself a lot of grace.
Balance is how we see our situation. It is not dependent on circumstances. We can have balance in ANY situation.
Barriers to Finding Balance
Busyness is one of the biggest barriers to balance. But busyness is a symptom of a deeper problem. You must ask yourself the question: “Why am I busy?”
There are three root causes to busyness:
- People pleasing
These are all rooted in either fear or pride.
Take this QUIZ to find out what your busyness personality is. (Scroll down the the 3rd quiz on the page).
Do you Struggle with Mom Guilt?
Do you ever feel like you’re being pulled in every direction? No matter what you’re doing, do you feel like you SHOULD be doing something else?
What is ONE thing that needs to happen today for you to be okay? (add up to 3)
If I could only remember one thing about yesterday, what would it be?
Be thankful for moments instead of things.
How to Be Present in the Moment.
“Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”Jim Elliott
Set a timer and go all in for a set amount of time.
Involve kids in housework.
Ask for help.
Sandy’s Episodes on Expectations.
Sandy’s Episodes on Social Media.