Do you have a child with autism?

Did you have dreams for your life when you were younger? I’m curious… how have those dreams worked out for you? Has life turned out the way you imagined it would? 

As moms, our dreams are often put on hold, or sometimes come to a screeching halt when we have kids. This is especially true for families who have children on the autism spectrum. 

Now, I don’t want to imply that getting married and having kids is a lesser dream in any way than, say, pursuing a successful career or being involved in full-time ministry. 

My dream was to be married and have lots of kids. But even within the dream of marriage and children, life doesn’t always turn out the way we thought it would. Marriages aren’t perfect. Kids struggle. Friends disappoint us. 

God doesn’t promise us an easy life of happiness. His purpose, through all the circumstances of our lives, is to make us holy, to draw us closer to himself, and to advance his kingdom. 

Let’s Talk About Autism

My oldest son was diagnosed with high functioning autism when he was 10 years old. High functioning autism used to be known as Asperger’s Syndrome. Autism is a spectrum of disorders that include social impairment and repetitive behaviors. 

In 2013, the term “Autism Spectrum Disorder” was coined and the term “Aspergers” was included under that umbrella term. 

Some statistics from the Austism Parent Magazine: 

• In 2024, one in 36 kids are diagnosed with autism (versus 1 in 150 in 2000).
• There’s been a 241% increase in cases of autism since 2000.
• Boys are 4 times more likely to be diagnosed than girls.

You Know One Kid With Autism

There’s a saying that goes… if you know one kid with autism, you know ONE KID with autism. While these kids are grouped under the umbrella term Autism Spectrum Disorder, their needs and strengths are extremely different from one end of the spectrum to the other. 

But this isn’t going to just be an episode about statistics and facts. I want to get down to the heart level. Some of you may have an autistic child. In fact, odds are pretty high that you do! Some of you may have a family member or friend which children on the spectrum. 

Parenting is hard. And parenting an autistic child is even harder. I want you to hear some encouragement today, momma. Even if your family doesn’t look the way you hoped it would. 

We have a special guest on the show today who is has a lot of experience raising children with autism. I think you’re going to be so encouraged by what she has to say.

Jessica Hurlbut  is an author, a podcaster, and a mom of five … two who struggle with autism, two adopted, and one typical teen boy. Her podcast, Full Spectrum Parent, is the only faith-based autism parenting podcast on the web. She is the author of a new book, Unlimited Motherhood, that I’m excited to talk about later in the show. 

Key Takeaways

Key Takeaways:

• Autism is a spectrum, and every child’s needs are unique.
• There is a grieving process when a child is diagnosed, but healing and peace come with acceptance.
• God doesn’t call parents to fix their children, but to love them.
• Autism or any special need does not limit God’s ability to work in and through a family.
• It’s essential to seek the resources and help that your child needs, even if you fear labels.
• The challenges of motherhood, especially with special needs children, can deepen faith and trust in God.

Links Mentioned:

• Austism Parent Magazine
• Jessica Hurlbut’s book: Unlimited Motherhood: Overcome 12 Limits That Overwhelm and Conflict Our Hearts
• Full Spectrum Parent podcast
• Episode 82 of Redeeming the Chaos: Laurie Christine’s interview with Jessica about cultivating gratitude
• Laurie’s original interview on Full Spectrum Parent

Connect with Jessica:

• Website: JessicaHurlbut.com

Episode Outline

Segment 1: Jessica’s Family and Journey

• Jessica shares her family structure: 5 children, including 2 with autism, 2 adopted, and 1 typical teen.
• Jessica discusses the early diagnosis of her daughter at age 3 and her son’s different but severe autism diagnosis.
• Jessica shares the emotional challenges of receiving a diagnosis for her children and how it affected both Jessica and her husband’s approach (Jessica’s desire to fix, husband’s denial).

Segment 2: Understanding Autism and the Diagnosis Process

• Definition and explanation of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and how the spectrum varies for each child.
• Key signs of autism in children: lack of eye contact, repetitive behaviors (flapping), delayed speech, and social difficulties.
• Differences between severe autism and high-functioning autism (formerly Asperger’s Syndrome).
• Importance of getting a diagnosis and not being afraid of labels due to the resources and services available.

Segment 3: Parenting Autistic Children—The Heart of the Struggle

• Jessica explains the intense challenges of parenting children with autism, especially in public places (e.g., meltdowns, social interactions).
• The emotional and spiritual toll it can take on parents, the pressure to “fix” their children, and the heavy burden of hidden struggles.
• Jessica’s pivotal moment when God helped her understand that her role wasn’t to fix her daughter, but to love her.

Segment 4: Encouragement for Moms

• The grieving process for moms who receive an autism diagnosis for their child and how the pain lessens over time as acceptance and healing occur.
• The importance of trusting God with your child’s future and focusing on what you can do each day.
• Encouraging moms that parenting an autistic child can become their ministry and how God can work through limitations.

Segment 5: Overcoming Limits as a Parent

• Jessica discusses her book Unlimited Motherhood and how it addresses the 12 limits that overwhelm moms (e.g., fear, distractions, exhaustion, finances).
• How God is not limited by our circumstances, and how the Holy Spirit can do more in and through us than we can imagine.
• Jessica’s perspective that while life may not be what she expected, God’s work through her family is even greater.