As moms, how can we encourage our husband to lead family devotions?
Do you want your husband to lead family devotions?
Does your husband struggle with leading devotions in your family? Do you wish he would be a spiritual leader for your boys? Does it feel like YOU are always the one wrangling the kids to sit down, be quiet and listen while you read the Bible?
If this doesn’t sound like your family – awesome! But if you can relate – you’re not alone. It’s actually fairly common for men to be hesitant about taking on the role of spiritual leader in the family.
So it’s common problem in families… but as moms, what can we do about it?
Interview with Tim Shoemaker
We have a special guest on the show today who has spoken to hundreds of dads about the topic of spiritual leadership in the family. He is also an expert at getting boys excited about the Bible. He’s going to help us answer the question: Why is it a struggle for a husband to lead family devotions, and what can we as wives do about it?
Tim Shoemaker is the author of twenty books and is a popular speaker at conferences and workshops around the country. He has been a regular devotional speaker at Focus on the Family and has been a guest on podcasts and radio programs such as Family Life Today. He has over twenty-five years of experience working with youth and their dads.
Below are some of the questions Tim and I discussed in our interview:
Why do many dads struggle to lead family devotions?
What are some of the reasons that men struggle with spiritual leadership in the family?
1). Men fear of not being in control.
Many men are afraid kids will get bored or they won’t listen. Which will then make the dad appear foolish in front of his family, because he isn’t able to maintain their attention or respect. And then it often turns into a power struggle. If you have to demand respect, you’ve already lost it.
2). Men feel inadequate to lead family devotions.
Dads are afraid that they don’t know the Bible well enough, or that their kids might ask a question they can’t answer.
3). Men may feel “disqualified” to lead family devotions.
Many dads may feel “disqualified” to teach their children about certain issues in which they themselves have failed in the past. The enemy whispers all the reasons why he isn’t qualified to lead family devotions. “Remember what you did…” He doesn’t want to be a hypocrite.
4). Men are afraid of failure.
Because dads are often afraid of failure, they are hesitant to lead family devotions. They think it’s better to not start at all, than to try and fail. And the more mom pushes, the more he wants to resist. He’d rather do something at which he knows he can be successful.
5). Family devotions are boring.
As a child, Dad may have felt like family devotions were boring. He may have resented his own father for less than engaging Bible times. He doesn’t want his own children to view him in the same way, yet he doesn’t know how to make the Bible more engaging for his kids (more on that below!)
How can moms encourage their husbands to take on spiritual leadership in the family?
1). Two examples from Scripture:
- I Samuel 25 – when Abigail humbly confronts David
- Book of Esther – Esther appealed to the King’s love language and requested his help.
2). Ask dad to help. Dad wants to feel needed. He wants to be the hero for his wife and family.
3). When planning family devotions, ask Dad to take on a specific role. Don’t just make him in charge of the whole thing at first. It’s okay for Mom to make the plan and invite Dad into it.
4). If Dad does agree to lead family Bible time, resist the urge to evaluate or add to Dad’s lesson.
How can we make family devotions more engaging for our boys?
Use object lessons, activities and visuals. That’s how Jesus taught! You want your kids to get one nugget of truth from the activity or lesson.
Jesus’ entire life embodied an object lesson. He demonstrated for us what the Father is like. His death on the cross was the ultimate object lesson of what love looks like.
The Very Best Hands On Kinda Dangerous Family Devotions by Tim Shoemaker
Bored with the Bible
Family devotions are rough sometimes, aren’t they? Do you struggle to spend time in God’s Word together as a family? Is it difficult to engage your kids in family devotions? Are you tempted to just give up before you even begin?
In this short ebook, you will learn:
• What are family devotions and why are they important?
• What does the Bible say about teaching the Word of God to our children?
• What are some barriers to having family devotions?
• What if I’ve failed?
• How do I make devotion times fun and engaging for my kids?
• How do I get started?
• What resources are available?
The Power of Story
When we read fiction to our kids, we invite them to engage with the story using their hearts, not just their heads.
Check out these fictional series by Tim Shoemaker:
- Code of Silence
- High Water
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